Sunday, March 26, 2006
1:04 PM

a horrible nightmare that i want to forget. but i never seem to be able to forget tiny feelings towards you. the tiny disappointing ones. that feeling lurks around and that inconsistency and that.. uncertainty. that horrible feeling. even though ive long forgotten what had happened to stir those feelings.
that was another wrench. that was another lie. when will you stop lying to me? when will you stop hiding the truth and bending your words so its not really a lie but not really the truth too? please.. pardon me. spare me. please. if its retribution then i have nothing to say though. but i know its only me.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006
4:59 PM

been some time i blogged..
remember me?

the side of shiyun
which i dont know who sees.

the disappointed one,
the one who seeks to be disappointed.

the one who expects to be disappointed,
and in some way,
contributes to it.

in expecting to be hurt,
i shun.
and in shunning,
i hurt.
and in hurting,
i get hurt.

im drained..i am.

but i like it that im lost in this pile of work.
that i have no need to think abt it.
that everyday after i wash up,
i fall into bed and start sleeptalking.
no time for you.