of wad would have happened if i walked through that door.
you said each door closed need not be a regret
as there may be worse things waiting behind it.
reminded me of the boogeyman show.
but i never take my chances.
if i had the chance to open that door,
you erased me from your memory, long before i could do anything. i was left out in the cold, all by myself, hanging on to the sweetest memories that have the worst effect on me now. i couldn't understand why, til i read it. read the signal n the proof that u've erased me long ago. in place of those memories we shared,
or i thought we did, are special memories of people i never knew. you won't be able to understand the many hands that pulled my heart in all the different directions and tore it apart so. i went to the same place u did, erased my memories of u. and it worked for awhile. before i realised i still have the sweetest memories stored somewhere. i stumbled upon it recently, and it all came back. i now call them "Only Lies". even if you meant them then, they mean nothing now. you will probably never be able to understand how real and fresh those memories are to me.
someone said something that made me think.
i was probably only one of the many many people u like,
if u've even liked me before.
i think u still mean something to me,
to be able to piss me off like that sometimes.
but everytime i think of the many other people
that u never tried to convince me u didn't feel for,
i feel an ache deep within me,
and i turn cold.
so cold that i've stopped doing alot of things,
that i would have done in the past.
so cold i grabbed onto someone in my desperate attempt to feel.
but maybe, it'll work out eventually.
after all,
i can't take an un-monogamous someone.
you know, i'm just as insecure as u. why didn't u try to reassure me too? did i mean that little to u? i want to hold u in my arms and tell u everything's alright everytime i sense that fear and withdrawal in you. but i think i'm not the one.