"do you wanna go to the amusement park later?"
the sms read. My heart did a flip and I almost died with no blood pumping through my body. Attention was paid to the minor details of the makeup and the clothes, but time zoomed past and I had no recollection of what had happened during that unconstructive period of time.
I reached the amusement park half an hour early. A gentle tap on my shoulder saw me beaming before I turned around. But it was not who I expected.
"Hi Jo, there's something I've been hiding for some time."
"Yea?" I smiled, and was ready to hear her grumble.
"I... have a crush on you." she offered.
"haha, do you really remember who I am?" I countered.
"Jo from that party?"
"Yea..." I was amused and trying to figure out why everything didn't make sense. It felt weird, and she wasn't convincing at all.
It took me some time to figure out why.
"OH! HAPPY APRIL FOOL'S DAY!" I shrieked!
"Yes Jo, haha. Hope you have fun at the park today! Remember my girlfriend? She's over there and she says hi." and she left for the rides.
I should have realised it was a warning to the day's events. But I refused to believe my day had started without her. I was all nervous and geared up to meet the big someone of my day.
"Hey. Have you been waiting long? I'm sorry I got caught up with my essays. You wanna catch a ride on the ferris wheel? I've tipped the attendant so he could put us up there for a few more minutes."
I've always had acrophobia, but I love rides. But the ferris wheel and the pause in the air sounded too much for me. I was willing to try it though...anything with her. The romantic promise seemed so unreal, but something tugged at my heart -- she wouldn't play a trick on me, even though it's April Fool's.
"OK! Let's do it!" I enthused.
As I climbed excitedly into the seat and fastened my seatbelt, she laughed and went off. The ferris wheel was too much for me after all. And all alone in the cubicle I felt isolated from the world. I didn't feel like I belong, and I was scared. No matter how hard I cried out to my friends below that I could now see, they couldn't hear me. And even if they did, they couldn't help me. It was my own mess. I shouldn't have believed she felt the same way. The excitement I got before the ride crashed into the dam that blocked the waves of fear and the dam crumbled into the tiniest obstacles that hid me from the collapse of my pride.
I was jaded when the ride ended.
"Was that meant to be a treat, or just a lousy joke?" I stared at her.
"ok sorry." she offered.
I didn't know what it meant. But I was the leo. I didn't want to be a leo, but my walls came up. The walls that I'd tried so hard to tear down long ago... the walls of self defence mechanism. It took a second to be erected again.
"Happy April Fool's Day! haha" I managed.
She did not seem to realise the hurt I had gone through. But I did not want to screw up her day with me.
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